At least that is what it is beginning to feel like! My new job is very intensive - it is effectively a target driven sales role after all - and takes a lot of time. I am usually not home until around 7:30 in the evening and so by the time the evening meal has been consumed and some family interaction has taken place I am too tired to tackle anything gaming related in a meaningful way. My painting has suffered due to the recent hot weather (I note from various blogs and comments from my local gaming circle that I am not alone in this!) and I have struggled to get anything else done in its place. On the plus side though I have been making use of my train journey for writing and catching up on my reading so at least something is keeping what passes for my grey matter ticking over.
The one thing it has given though, is time to think. Despite my blog being peppered with 'much to ponder here methinks' over the years it is rare for me to do so in any kind of a structured way. I tend to think on the knee jerk basis around whatever project I am currently involved with and how that particular effort can best fit in the overall scheme of things. In other words in the short term and on a reactive basis. The result is usually a project list - or more accurately, a wish list as in time I usually end up wishing I had completed some of the contents!
Left alone for too long my thoughts around our hobby tend to move into the 'what-exactly-do-I-want-from-my-hobby-and-how-do-I-achieve-it?' territory which is never an easy time for me. It is never an easy time for me simply because this is when some of my more outlandish ideas start teasing me and invariably start to consume resources at an alarming rate. I continue to remind myself that I have a list of things to do but is this enough? Are these projects going to satisfy the overall craving I have for something deeper and meaningful? What is the something that is deeper and meaningful? Am I just chasing shadows in the pursuit of some kind of wargames El Dorado?
Whatever 'it' is is something that will not readily go away, at least not until I have acknowledged 'it' in some way and I shall continue to wrestle with my wargaming conscience until that particular demon has been faced down.
Whatever that particular demon is of course!
I know how you feel. I am happy just to do some de-stressing painting. As there is a lot of project management in my job the last thing I want to do is the same at home!
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. I changed jobs last year and it took most of 2012 to regain my gaming balance. There are still periods where the job is overwhelming and I go for days or weeks without accomplishing much. I have so many half started projects that it sometimes seems I spend all of my gaming time putting one project away and unpacking another; then repeating the next week. It is a fun hobby though...
ReplyDeleteDavid,
ReplyDeleteI think most wargamers go through the same angst.
I actually took a year off from painting figures and playing games.
I found even in that sabbatical year I was reading about other games and history books.
Just because you havent time now, certainly doesnt mean you wont have time in the future.
I would avoid lists however, that is unless you win the lottery.
All that does is make you feel that everything is unobtainable.
Its easy to say, but a bit of discipline helps. Pick your favourite period and try to stay with it until you feel that you have a decnt force.
Thanks Robbie
Hi Legatus,
ReplyDeleteI would struggle to gift any of my projects with any degree of management - they just seem to bimble along!
All the best,
DC
Hi Mike,
ReplyDeleteYou have hit the nail on the head - I just wish I had a meaningful hammer!
All the best,
DC
Hi Rob3rod,
ReplyDeleteMy problem is that I know deep down what I should do which is very different to what I could do....
All the best,
DC
IMHO
ReplyDeleteThe best wargaming times (aside from acquiring "special things") are the collective games/ventures that work even if just in a small way
There seems to be many elements in your blog that also reflect this element if I am not mistaken
Hard to paint on a train methinks
Hi Geordie,
ReplyDeleteI should take my enjoyment of our hobby in bite-sized chunks - which I do - but I seem to be struggling to do that at present. This in turn leads me off in various directions - invariably involving newer and bigger ideas. I am sure a sense of perspective will will emerge eventually and that this phase will pass.
Very true about painting on a train!
All the best,
DC